When you’ve been in a relationship with someone for a long time, there comes the point when you start developing some expectations from them. While relying on your partner for material or physical needs (wink wink) isn’t an unhealthy sign (in fact it may also serve to bring you closer together), there may come the point when expectation relationship become a little too much for one of you to bear.
So much so, that you may end up resenting the added burden on yourself, and consequently resenting your partner. And it’s all downhill from this point. Unless, of course, you do something about it.
But how do forventningsafstemning parforhold (expectation relationship) arise, especially the ones that later feel like a burden to you? Well, two things account for such a scenario: routine and attitude. Consider this situation: Say, at the start of your relationship, you proceeded to shower your partner with small gifts on a weekly basis and always acted like it was no big deal (when it really did put a dent in your savings), you might reach a point where you find you really can’t support this routine anymore.
What’ll happen then is the next time your partner doesn’t receive her gift, she’ll be disappointed and feel as if you’ve come to care less about her than you did before, which in reality is nowhere near the truth. Now I’m not saying you should hold everything you get her over her head like a dangling sword, but you shouldn’t let her come to take your spoiling her for granted. Attitude and communication, are your key tools here.
There really is no need to explain why having forventningsafstemning parforhold (expectation relationship) can lead to their downfall. Both parties suffer because of it, but the one who’s being taken for granted has the short end of the stock. Your relationship begins to feel more like a source of discomfort and a bother than the loving union of hearts that it should be. You may end up feeling used by your partner, which is a very unpleasant feeling to experience.
However, there IS one surefire way to avoid the unpleasant outcomes of forventningsafstemning parforhold (expectation relationship), and that is simply by being honest about your values to your partner and communicating them to each other. I say values and not needs because values represent the core principles you hold in your heart and what you want the outcome of the relationship to be.
Being upfront and honest about these from the start may feel like a hard thing to do, but it is definitely worth the effort to see your relationship blossom into an everlasting one.